$#*! My Dad Says is based on the popular Twitter feed by Justin Halpern about Ed Goodson, a forthright and opinionated dad who relishes expressing his unsolicited and often wildly politically incorrect observations to anyone within earshot. Nobody is immune from Ed's rants, including his sons, Henry, a struggling writer-turned-unpaid blogger; and Vince, the meek half of his husband/wife real estate duo with domineering wife Bonnie. When Henry finds he can no longer afford to pay rent to his pretty roommate -- and secret admirer -- Sam, Ed reveals a soft spot and invites Henry to move in with him. Henry agrees, knowing that the verbal assault will not abate and now there will be no escape.
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Who's Your Daddy? 01x18
After meeting Henry's new girlfriend, Ed realizes he has a strange connection with her.
Lock and Load 01x17
Ed and Rosemary's fledgling relationship hits a snag when she tells him that his gun has got to go. After Henry, Vince, and Bonnie convince him to heed her wishes, however, Ed's house gets robbed and he's helpless without his firearm. While Ed tries to get Rosemary to reconsider, Vince and Bonnie attempt artificial insemination.
Well Suitored 01x16
Ed is reluctant to go exclusive in his relationship with Rosemary, so he finds himself with competition for her heart. Vince and Bonnie's old boss drops by with a very peculiar present.
Ed Goes to Court 01x15
As the newly-elected head of the Homeowners' Association, Ed is more concerned with pursuing his neighbor Rosemary Pernworth than passing any legislation.
Corn Star 01x14
When the height of Ed's corn stalks becomes an issue with the home owners' association, he decides to fix the problem by running for president of the association.
The Better Father 01x13
When Vince and Bonnie learn that the reverend who married them didn't actually have a license, they decide to have a new wedding in Ed's house.
Goodson Goes Deep 01x12
Ed wants baseball memorabilia that was promised to him but then sold to someone else. Bonnie and Vince move in to the garage so they can try to get pregnant with less distraction.
Family Dinner for Schmucks 01x11
Bonnie tries to start a family tradition. Henry gets in trouble for taking the blame for a friend's mistake. Ed makes a friend at the hospital with his personality.
You Can't Handle the Truce 01x10
Henry tries to broker a truce between Ed and his neighbor of 25 years. Vince and Bonnie have trouble adopting a dog so Ed finds a solution.
Make a WISiH 01x09
Ed and Henry are watching TV when an infomercial comes on for wish a self help guru, Ed asks who would fall for that kind of scam when Vince and Bonny walk in saying they have quit their real estate jobs to start a real estate business because they wished for it.